Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Our Own

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else's child.
Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.
--- Rita Laws, PhD

This is how the conversation usually goes: (between me and anonymous)
Anon: "So you are back from China."
Me: "Yes - we had a great trip"
Anon: "How is the new baby, It's a girl?"
Me: "No, We have a new big boy, he is 5."
Anon: "So you have 4 kids now - and 2 of them are your own, right?"
Me: "No, I have 4 children of my own."
Anon: looking puzzled "but, you have 2 of your own"
Me: "We adopted Benjamin - Now we have 4 children of our own"
Anon: "You know what I mean"
Me: "Not really!"

Prior to adopting Benjamin we had to read lots of books about the implications of adopting an older child. One of the book I read was called "Our Own". For some reason when we came home with Claire this conversation didn't occur so much. I have been asked multiple times since we have been home (for 12 days now) how many children I have that are my own - They are all my own (or our own). They are all loved and they are our children no matter how they joined our family. The conversation above was with one particularly dense person this weekend - who kept asking the same question - even as I explained it to her. Oh well - I will just continue with education on proper adoption terminology (How would you feel if you were adopted and someone asked your mom how many kids of her own she had - I would think that would make you feel badly). Benjamin is doing great. He is going to Preschool each afternoon and is doing very well.

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